Its crazy to me that in a matter of no time
(but yes time has passed)
that i could feel this way
Yes I have had my flings in the past,
But this one
This one is different
I cant even describe it
He means so much to me
I have always been the one in control
But this time it is equal
Its a crazy balance of give and take
and Its a crazy balance of I love him
I love him more than anything
and i would do anything for him
Im scared to say it
but
he
is the
ONE
and ill do anything to make sure of it

this has never happened before
but hes the only one
the only one i think about
the only one i want
when a song comes on
its him
its him i think about
and no one else
when i think about my wedding
the wedding which has never really
in any detail
crossed my mind before
its him
its him I think about
its him I think about and get teary eyed over 
and i dont cry
I dont cry over anything
and i get teary eyed at just the thought of being his
FOREVER

FOREVER
Thats how long i want to be his
and i have never been able to say that about any one else
I feel dumb and I feel too young to be saying this
But its how i feel
and I KNOW this is how i will feel for the rest of my life
He is the reason I am working so hard to be a better person
He is the reason this blog is now almost obsolete
But I am too scared to tell him all of this
although i know he can take it and understand it, I am still scared
I am guarded
But I love him
unconditional love
i could say love about him a million times and it wouldnt be enough
hes everything to me and i never want to lose him