Its crazy to me that in a matter of no time
(but yes time has passed)
that i could feel this way
Yes I have had my flings in the past,
But this one
This one is different
I cant even describe it
He means so much to me
I have always been the one in control
But this time it is equal
Its a crazy balance of give and take
and Its a crazy balance of I love him
I love him more than anything
and i would do anything for him
Im scared to say it
but
he
is the
ONE
and ill do anything to make sure of it

this has never happened before
but hes the only one
the only one i think about
the only one i want
when a song comes on
its him
its him i think about
and no one else
when i think about my wedding
the wedding which has never really
in any detail
crossed my mind before
its him
its him I think about
its him I think about and get teary eyed over 
and i dont cry
I dont cry over anything
and i get teary eyed at just the thought of being his
FOREVER

FOREVER
Thats how long i want to be his
and i have never been able to say that about any one else
I feel dumb and I feel too young to be saying this
But its how i feel
and I KNOW this is how i will feel for the rest of my life
He is the reason I am working so hard to be a better person
He is the reason this blog is now almost obsolete
But I am too scared to tell him all of this
although i know he can take it and understand it, I am still scared
I am guarded
But I love him
unconditional love
i could say love about him a million times and it wouldnt be enough
hes everything to me and i never want to lose him

you left me without a spark
and i wish i could look both ways before i leap
but now im in the dark

You Miss This and You Know It

Im a hell of a good time baby
Why don't you come on and join me for the ride

Papa

We are all just living
no waiting
waiting to die
i have known this
but still the thought of u leaving me
leaving me with no chance of ever seeing your face again
I cant take it
I sit here
never cried harder
I love you so much
you cant do this to me
please dont do this to me
Who is going to walk me down the aisle
If you leave i dont know
No one can take your place
You were always there for me
Always loved me
Im sorry for all the stupid things I did now
I wish I would have been there for you more
I love you
Just please dont leave
You cant leave me
You cant leave me here without you
Im so scared
and without you
who will be here to hold me
just stay please
and hold me

Your words, like knives
Oh how
Oh how they cut and slice

To Hell I Went, and All I Got was This Broken Heart

Our time is over 

Thank God for that 

Oh you sure did teach me a lesson 

Oh how i learned it too 

I guess this world aint so beautiful 

Cuz damn boy u are UGLY

Mutilated

Disfigured 

and how the sight of you I loathe

I toss you into the sun and you hide 

I would too if my heart looked like yours

Be gone you horrendous thing

I have learned my lesson one too many times 

and now I will throw you to the dogs 

throw you to the dogs like a rejected serving 

I reject you 

and this time don't come back 

Cuz what we had was an illusion

It may have felt like heaven 

But the demons inside you hid so well

and hell is not where i shall reside

too hot of a place 

too much of a waste 

you were a waste

So i havent done a tattoo post in a while and i have been wanting one so badly but the grandpa is totally against it so im goin to be a good kid and wait till later :)

enjoy