They Say Never Regret, But How Could I Not

Im sorry for what I did to you
I said Im sorry
I sat there and let you believe I loved you
I didnt
I didnt at all and I knew it
I took your heart and I crushed it
I went behind your back and did things you still dont even know about
I hate myself for it
I did it
I did it all the same
Im sorry for that
I regret it now
I regret it now that it has happened to me
I know this is what you want to hear
I know it is because these are the same words I wish would come out of his mouth
I am sorry
I now am thankful for you
I am thankful for you in a way that I should have been when we were together
I know you still hate me
I dont blame you
I still hate the one who did this to me
I just want you to know
I want you to know that I would change it
I wouldnt hurt you
I was in denial all this time
I am sorry
I am sorry and that is all
I miss you

LIfe or Death

So in my massive amount of boredom today waiting for my friend
I did something a tad out of character
I wrote a list of things I want to do before I die
of course this list will change
only additions ideally but here it goes

1. Go to a major worldwide sporting event : World Cup, Olympics, ect...
2. Have a Huge party and invite every single person I know and see who shows up
3. Have my portrait painted
4. Make an original work of art
5. Learn to speak a foreign language and use it
6. Go Skinny dipping in the Agean Sea
7. Be an Extra in a film
8. Write down the story of my life in great detail leaving nothing out
9. Own a home looking onto the ocean
10. Brew my own beer
11. Experience Octoberfest in Germany
12. Learn how to take a compliment gracefully
13. Get in the car and just drive until I am lost
14. Get on a plane and just go without warning
15. Buy a house for my mother
16. Buy a dozen roses for my grandmother and tell her I love her
17. Forgive my father
18. Keep in touch with my sisters
19. Write a love letter and send it in a bottle
20. Plant a garden and keep up with it
21. Live in the middle of a large city
22. Live in the country
23. Learn to speak my mind, gracefully
24. Write a fan letter
25. Wait tables for nearly a year of my life
26. Run a marathon or participate in a triathalon
27. Learn to ski or snowboard
28. Trace my family back as far as I can
29. Go to the top of the Statue of Liberty
30. Give to charity and don't take the credit
31. Donate to a school and have your name on something
32. Go hunting and eat what I catch
33. Visit the Holy Land
34. Visit a Concentration Camp
35. Go up an Escalator facing down
36. Go to Vegas and loose it all
37. Teach someone to read
38. Spend the night in a haunted house
39. Own a timeless and expensive piece of jewelry
40. Learn to play the piano
41. Learn to read music
42. Visit every state at least once
43. Live in Mexico for a year
44. Walk up to a man and ask him on a date
45. Kiss a stranger
46. Visit Every Continent
50. Learn to SAMBA
51. Be in a play
52. Take a class after I retire
53. Drive the entire Autobahn
54. Spend Christmas in Australia
55. Buy and Old home remodel it and give it to a needy family
56. Build my own house how I want it
57. Go spelunking
58. Visit the Great Barrier Reef
59. Get my diving license
60. Get my racing license
61. Race a very fast car
62. Get in a fighter Jet and break the sound barrier

Id rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not

So I have recently come to realization that I can't make everyone happy
And also that me being nice gets me nothing other than people being fake
So I'm done
No more letting people walk all over me
No more being nice because I don't want people to get mad at me
If you don't like me
Well then go the Fuck Away
Because I honestly can't stand you anyway
I just am nice because I don't want to cause a scene
From now on I'm doing things for me
I'm doing what makes me happy
What I want to do
And anyone who doesn't like it can go suck a dick :)

Abandoned by Reason

So I went to Austin to visit a friend of mine 

IM MOVING THERE ASAP 

Im in love with it 

well anyways 

on my way back I came across an abandoned biofuel building 

actually idk if it was abandoned or just really unorganized 

but anyways I of course stopped and went to take pics 

A Smile Happens in a Flash, But its Memory Lasts a Lifetime

I hear your doing well
I hear youve moved on
Forgotten all that we once had
All those memories just thrown out

I hate to remind you
But those moments mean more to me
More than you can see

Ill remind you
You were my first
my first love
but now i
i wish nothing but the best
for you not to forget
but what i wish for you most is to remember
remember me

The secret to enjoying what you have, is hating that you could lose it

I awoke
only to find my stomach in a knot
and it seems as if im not breathing
and Im afraid to sleep
because im scared of what I might see in my dreams
cuz even seeing u in a dream
you still give me butterflies

All war is deception

How could u even say that you blame me
For buying into your lies
You know this game so well
And you have played it
Oh how u played it so well

You are disgusting
You are awful
You are evil
You are nothing
When once you were everything to me

I want to run into the streets
Shouting
Shouting what you have done
Warning everyone of what you really are
Saving those from this destruction that you have caused

Don't act like you are innocent
Don't act like you really warned me of how you are
You played me
and You played me well